Man do I have a story for you. I hope I have enough space here to include the details that will do it justice. Get comfy.
Our stay in Texas was wonderful. But I overshot my wad when I booked 17 days away...just me and the kids. We were really homesick about ten days into it and the soul sucking heat clenched the deal...we were going home early. I paid a small fortune to Continental Airlines to fly us home on my 45th birthday, two days earlier than planned.
We were traveling with four checked suitcases and carry-ons, which included my camera gear (with film that needed to be hand checked thru security), my big ass portfolio box, my son's laptop, my youngest son's "bag o' stuff", olivia's purse, my purse, and an acoustic guitar. The morning of the tenth, we packed it all up and left for the airport two hours before our plane was to depart. After some traffic, returning the rental, managing this gross amount of luggage thru parking garages and shuttles...we arrived at the ticket counter at 3:15. Our flight was at 3:40. The not-so-nice-lady informed me that there was no way we would make the flight. We were 5 minutes too late to get the luggage checked. So I said, "Fine, leave the luggage. Send it on the next flight!" This is against the RULES. We would have plenty of time to get to the gate but because we were not allowed to leave without our luggage scheduled to go WITH us...we couldn't fly. We were put on standby for the 9pm flight. I felt sick.
5+ hours later, we discovered that the flight was fantastically overbooked and we would not be making the cut. AND that there were no other flights leaving that night for North Carolina. AND that our luggage was already in North Carolina. (This is when I started to unravel). Its 10pm, I have no rental car, I have no luggage and I am standing at the customer service counter with my 3 crying children behind me while a different not-so-nice-lady asks me what I expect HER to do about it. She books us on the 7:10am flight out the next morning and suggests that we be on time since every other flight will be overbooked. I hated her and she hated me. We understood each other.
We take a $100 cab ride back to Beck's where there is a bottle of Jack Daniels waiting for me on the kitchen counter. Airport scum is washed from the children and their clothes and they are put to bed.
I don't sleep at all, out of fear that I won't wake up in time to make the flight. Therefore, I am awake in PLENTY of time to make the flight. Beck drives us to the airport at five while the kids are chattering non stop from the excitement of REALLY going home. We hear Grayson from the back seat, "WhataBurger is so beautiful in the night."
As we are moving thru security like professionals, I am informed that the tickets in my hand are not actually boarding passes and that I will need to go back to the ticket counter and GET ACTUAL boarding passes. I am bleary eyed and ask for help. A not-so-nice-lady prints them for me.
We are at the gate 80 minutes before our plane is to depart. They call for boarding. We joyfully gather our things and get in line. Its our turn, the clerk takes our tickets...looks at me with a blank face...and says..."Uh, you don't have a seat on this flight. Your KIDS do, but you do not." Its oversold and you don't have a seat." It is then that I went into what Beck and I like to call the "Shirley Maclain GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE MEDICATION freak out." Crazed, anger, crying, out of body don't close the door to the plane help me help. me. My kids were doing the kid version of the same thing. They closed the door and the plane pulled away from the gate. I came completely unglued. All three kids were crying and I was begging. I guess this happens often because it didn't even cause a stir.
An hour later I was presented with four first class tickets on the 1:50pm flight, money for airport food for the day and a $500. travel voucher ALONG WITH a request for my signature on a document stating that I would not sue Continental Airlines.
We gather our things and head back into the bowels of Airport Hell where hundreds of thousands of bacteria toting humanoids are waiting for us.
We have six hours to burn.
I take my first class tickets to the Presidents Club...you know those elite white businessman secret hiding places buried within the airports, where all is quiet and beige and clean?...yeah...one of those places. The first class tickets do not allow us entry but they DO give us the option of purchasing a day pass to the club for $180 dollars. Done.
Typically, my children are well behaved, law abiding citizens. But in Continental's very fancy hiding place, where we SHOULD have been ESCORTED with a parade and confetti for our troubles...I had only one thought in regards to our appearance or demeanor..."Continental Airlines can suck it." My barefoot children helped themselves to the snack bar for hours. Grayson discovered that the bartender would make root beers for FREE. He became a regular at the bar. We took over the plasma screen TV and made the club our home away from home. We wandered, we lounged, we ate, we played games, we slothed. Suck. It.
We were the first to board the plane that afternoon. While the herd of people were still cramming into coach, the lovely flight attendant asked me in a nice nice first class voice, "What would you like to drink ma'am". "I'll have a chardonnay, and keep 'em comin."
I hoped this trip to Texas would offer some quality time with my kids. It did. But our time in Airport Hell was a bonding experience like no other. We took good care of each other. We rallied around whoever was crying at the moment, laughed plenty, and persevered in the end. (ya shoulda seen the kids with beaming faces in their giant First Class seats).
We're home. I love Chapel Hill.
And Continental Airlines can suuuuck it.
