Road Trip Revelations

Just back from Atlanta.  I saw two wonderful shows running in Jackson Fine Art...Mona Kuhn and Shauna & Robert Parke Harrison.  Both were thought provoking and inspiring.  

I had portfolio reviews all day Saturday and then made the six hour drive home on Sunday where I spent most of the time processing the entire experience.  By the time I pulled into my beloved Chapel Hill...I had some real clarity regarding my work.  

Okay, a few epiphanies so where to start?

Whether it be a reviewer, collector, photographer...when I show someone my portfolio for the first time...the response is positive.  Hey, this is good.  I have had that positive experience enough that I no longer feel nervous about opening the box.  But what I find fascinating is, what happens when individual images are being critiqued...particularly by reviewers i.e. "The Powers That Be."  These are credentialed professionals who have seen it all and have the means to launch a photographer's career in the world of fine art.  And still...the response to each image is personal and swings wildly from one person to the next.  It goes like this...(Reviewer #1): "Lori, this image is incredible. Haunting. Universal.Truly one of your best."  (Reviewer #2) SAME EXACT IMAGE: "This one does not work. Its contrived. Too theatrical. Obvious. I think you should take it out of your portfolio."  They speak with authority.  And I have now had THAT experience enough that I don't even feel confused or frustrated by it.  I listen with an attentive, appreciative look on my face but I'm smiling on the inside because I finally know that I HAVE TO TRUST MYSELF.  And I finally do.  This is large.

Now here is the most interesting thing to me.  With all of the preparation that goes into going to a review...I edit, re-edit, look again, re-print, sequence, shuffle and sequence again, lay them all out on the floor...I mean its nuts.  By the time I get there, I can hardly stand myself.  I hate every picture I've ever taken.  But I've discovered that while I am repeatedly presenting my work to people who have never seen it...I SEE IT WITH FRESH EYES.  Not through THEIR eyes, but through my own.  Their response isn't even relevant to what I'm saying here.  It matters of course, but more importantly, I am able to look and consider my own work with far more objectivity and clarity than when I'm alone with it for months at a time.  

And here is what hit me in Atlanta.  This year has been prolific for me.  I have shot and printed a ridiculous amount of work.  I've tried all kinds of things.  I've questioned who I am as a photographer.  I've pushed the envelope.  I've allowed myself to be influenced by some who I believed knew more about what makes a good photograph.  Great.  But this weekend, as I was REALLY seeing my prints for the first time in a long time...I found my place.  It isn't the dramatic, staged, tweaked, and over worked ideas that make my best pictures.  It is the quiet ones.  Where I saw some subtle soft expression or slight gesture in perfect light and pressed the shutter.  Those quiet pictures are my best pictures.  That is who I am as a photographer.  Monu-Freaking-Mental.  I know.  Finally.

There is some real peace in that.  And a calm confidence.  Let the real work begin.

  

Comments

[lisa]

sweet!

[kasandra]

always, always enjoy your posts ... they are always thought provoking for me ... thanks for that

[Michael Sebastian]

Heard your podcast interview with Paul Guigere just today, and have been cruising some of your archived blog posts. Nicely done here, although my eyes balk a bit at the white-on-black text.

Timely post, as I prepare for my first review at PhotoNOLA next week. It is so tough to get past the feeling--bred of familiarity and repetitious consideration leading to stale eyes--that THE WORK SIMPLY SUCKS and HOW COULD I BE SO PRESUMPTUOUS AS TO SHOW IT TO ANYONE, much less to IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THE ART WORLD?

Your point is well taken about the subjectivity of all of this, and the need to trust oneself. Once you feel like you've mastered the technical aspects, it's all aesthetics and those are damnably vague and personal. I'm frustrated when I feel I haven't translated what I saw in my head to the final print.

Great work. Truly. Wish me luck in NOLA....

mike