Life 101

October has been thought provoking.  On the tail end of Atlanta, facing a schedule that is quickly over-flowing into the new year, and printing the January show with images I have made through out the last 16 months...well...a good deal of reflection is going on inside my head.

 I realize I'm speaking in generalities when I say, the forties are an interesting time in a woman's life...but I believe that its often true.  Babies have turned into young people who can dress themselves.  There is ample room to consider oneself as more than the mama bear.  Time starts rushing by and the empty nest becomes a future reality rather than some unimaginable, distant impossibility.

So here I am.  With an awakened awareness that no, I don't know everything.  For awhile there, I actually thought I did.  I had lived long enough, had plenty of life experiences, put a few demons to rest and figured there wasn't much left to learn.  Arrogant and stupid...yea, I know.  The universe was cracking up, and apparently this year, decided to bring me back to the classroom.

I'm trying to figure out if its possible to learn without making mistakes.  Is the mistake required?  Cuz I would prefer to be spoon fed the lessons and skip the messy stuff.  I'd like to avoid the remorse & guilt that lingers too long after such mistakes.  Yea, a pain-free learning environment sounds better.

Doesn't seem to work that way.  This year...misguided trust, ignoring my own intuition, and losing sight of my personal priorities and sensibilities have been the biggies.  And I have only myself to blame.  Its time to own it.  Learn.  Move on.  

Coming out of those mistakes...landing on the other side...there is reward.  The prize is...you get to be a better person.  And isn't that the whole idea in life?  Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?   

Comments

[deb]

as i have just begun the 40s (one week ago), i appreciate your life 101 lesson. actually, i just plain appreciate *you*!! looking forward to what the 40s have to offer...and trusting myself. and that begins with dreadlocks on nov 18th. 40s, here i come. hope you're ready for me!
xo.
deb