Blogging two days in a row?...It seems that when no one is sitting here at my desk next to me, I blog. Wonder if this will be a habit.
For the last couple of days, I've been thinking about the shaky ground we artists stand on. Some more than others I suppose. It's obvious I'm in the shaky category. I'm extremely affected by the world's opinion of my work. "The World" being anyone.
The day after Donnor left, my project "Safekeeping" was featured on Burn Magazine.
www.burnmagazine.org This was huge. First, because David Allan Harvey, a world class Magnum photographer thought my work was worthy. Second, because the comments that poured in were surprising, validating, encouraging. It was an awesome and much needed boost and I spent most of that first day hitting refresh, refresh, refresh.
Yesterday, the final day that my essay was front and center, this guy Joe posts a thoughtful, lengthy comment. He was not a fan. He used phrases like, "Hallmark cards", "Children as ornaments", and thought that my work was stale, contrived, well...feel free to jump over and read it. It ain't good.
Because he had apparently spent some time looking, thinking, writing and because I can appreciate any thoughtful critique, good or bad...I spent the entire afternoon wondering if he was right. Nevermind the 70 others who raved about this project. Joe must be the one who knows. (since this is my blog and i write it i will say here that i finally took a peek at joe's work and i hated it). Juvenile to say so, I know but so what.
But this morning, I guess my question is...where is the solid ground? Feedback is required really. But how much do you bank on it? When do you trust yourself? When do you give "The World" the final say? I personally don't want to get so puffed up on my own fabulousness that I can't recognize what actually works and what doesn't. If I were hiding my work and truly did not care if it were ever seen with any human eyes other than my own, I would be making the very same pictures. I am clear about my own photographic voice. I stay true to my own way of working. But because I NEED validation, I send the work out there...boldly. I don't tip toe around the sending...I LAUNCH it with a prayer for fame and fortune. Sounds ridiculous huh. Well, good stuff comes back and I ride that wave for as long as I can stay upright and hope that the next one is coming up quick. And sometimes its just Joe tapping me on the shoulder and whispering in my ear, "you suck."
All I know is that I have to keep pressing the shutter. I am well beyond the point where I have a choice. I need photography. I hope I will always be growing as a photographer. I hope "The World" will get it. Oh, but I just thought of something Andre Kertesz once said..."If someone likes my picture...great. If they don't...its really none of my business."
oh yes.
