lori vrba photog blog

Pea Soup

This morning Art Camp was given a little nudge by the Photography Gods...heavy fog had descended upon Chapel Hill and we campers loaded up with no place to go but determined to find Art.  And that we did.

We shot for three and half hours, turning down every country road, often times ignoring the NO TRESPASSING signs...driving deeper into the fog.  We found a dilapidated old log cabin and Donnor started a fire in an old iron stove right in front of it.  After three neighbors stopped by to see what we were up to, the sheriff arrived.  Hey, it ain't really Art Camp till the cops come.  I assured him that we were harmless...just makin' Art.  He seemed to appreciate our efforts and left us alone.

Further down the road, I spotted a foggy pasture loaded with sheep and a perfect sheep dog.  I ran over with camera ready and as I gripped the fence to crawl through, I was electrified, not so much by the beauty in front of me, although it was beautiful, but by the electrical current running through said fence.  I think it re-started my heart.  Not just a little zz zz, but a jolt that lifted me off my feet.  After I regained my composure, I found a way around the fence to get to the sheep and shot a whole roll.  Was it worth electricution?  Uh, yes.

We're processing all our morning film now but without seeing it even, I can say that this is the kind of morning that Art Camp is all about.  Shooting through the doubt.  Shooting through the apathy.  Shooting without a plan.  Shooting.  We may or may not have any brilliant images to show for it...but the Art is in the Making of it.  Not the results.  The energy that propelled us through three hours of fog...that's the Art.  What better way to spend a morning? 

Jump!

I'm not sure if its safe to write this evening.  I'm on the back side of the flu, jet lagged, exhausted, coming down off an adrenaline overdose, and overwhelmed by one helluva messy house.  I went to San Francisco.  I didn't get nervous until the day before and then I got VERY nervous.  Once my plane landed...I was sure that I was in for some serious humiliation.  That didn't happen.  My work was reviewed by 11 hard core pros, and it was well received.  It was enormously validating and potentially career launching.  We'll see.  But it was a wonderful experience and I came home trusting myself which is HUGE.  

I've been going with my hair on fire for many months now.  And there has been a huge pay off.  My work has a new life.  It feels honest and personal.  And it is incredible to me that I can make pictures from such a deep place, one that is so much of ME and that anyone would find those images interesting or beautiful or valid.  

But nothing is free.  And much has been sacrificed to get here.  I'm not a patient girl.  I like speed.  I love instant gratification.  And so I jumped on the fast track to get here...without warning or preparation or luggage.  I just hopped the train.  Its time to get off now.  And pull my life back together while I work.  I got this far fast.  I can work with some balance and some breathing for awhile.  I can get back to the business of a whole life again that includes a comfortable home with real food and entire mornings in my pj's and long conversations with my dear friends.  I have a whole summer coming filled with daytrips to the beach...just me and a van full o' kids.  Where they sleep all the way home and I have the windows rolled down and the tunes turned up high...the whole car smelling of Coppertone.  Oh yea, its time to get off the train.  Been a great ride.  I'm gonna walk awhile. 

8 days and counting

We are deep into preparations for the San Francisco portfolio review which takes place in 8 days.  I know it takes place in 8 days because I made a countdown calender which is hanging right here in my office.  I screwed a big hook into the plaster and from it hangs a stack of sheets, which we tear off with dramatic flair...10, 9, 8, 7...how fun is that?

Donnor and I have each chosen the images we want to present and have been working non stop to make gallery quality 16X16 prints.  Its a beautiful thing every evening when we pull each one from the washer, squeegie, admire our brilliance, or declare it garbage...which, on the rare occasion that happens...Donnor takes great joy in tossing it on the darkroom floor and walking over it.  Nobody ever said art was easy.  

There is this musician I recently discovered...Ray LaMontagne...love his music.  He lives somewhere in the Northeast in a cabin in the woods and he collects vintage typewriters.  He collects them because he says there was no reason for them to make a typewriter beautiful, but they did anyway.  whoa.  And while we Art Campers work countless hours in the darkroom, talking about all sorts of things...you know, like the meaning of life and whats the point of any of it?  And who cares about this picture?  And why are we spending all this time, energy and money to do this thing we're doing?  Well...I think about those typewriters.  They didn't have to make them beautiful, but they did anyway.  There is no good reason for me to dedicate so much of myself to photography.  Except that it makes for a rich life.  It feels like I'm leaving something real about me for the world.  More than just a memory that eventually disappears.  There will be hard evidence that I was fully engaged while I was here.  

Also, well because its a damn good time making pictures.